Jamie had been to hell and back
Let’s not forget how Jamie felt at the start of that 20-year separation. Even though he knew that Claire was safe in the 20th century and had visions of her with his son (he thought it was a boy), he still felt alone. He was ready to die on that battlefield and then spent six years in hiding, angry that he hadn’t gotten to die after all.
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Over the 20 years, he went through prison life, dealt with the loss of another child because of what could have happened to the boy if anyone found out William was his, and dealt with a normal life that he never expected to gain. Throw in an unhappy marriage and life in Edinburgh and it’s not surprising that he was a very different man to the one Claire left behind.
He had a life and had adapted to this new life. There were secrets that he hadn’t told anyone and nobody he’d trusted in the way he trusted Claire all those years ago. Seeing Claire back as a dream, but he was nervous when they saw each other again.
He wanted things to go back to the way they were, but that wasn’t possible, especially not right away. Claire had become a different woman to the one that he had pushed through the stones. And let’s not forget at one point she hated him for forcing her to leave.